Confusion - Resolved

Hi people,

The title says it all. Been here for 3 terms now. Confusion is setting in. I really don't know what i am.

Oh yeah, you read right. My thoughts have gone that deep. I have no longer any interests in trying to figure out what job I want to get into post-ISB.

See, To know what job i want to do in future needs a lot of thinking. I need to know my interests. I have to know my needs and wants clearly; extrapolated into the future with a little bit of Monte Calro Simulation to take into account the randomness of fate and luck.

I have to put together my core competencies that i have built in life, for the last 26 years. Now, at first glance it looks like i have been doing nothing, learning nothing. But that certainly is not RIGHT! I actually have done something extraordinary with my life. I have done many things that most people have not had the time or chance or money to do yet. I am proud of it, when i actually sit down and list down the number of things I have done.

What makes me unhappy is this problem with my memory. I forget things. I even forget things that I said I have learned and that I will make sure to remember, to never repeat my past mistakes. Problem is I forget and sooner than not I would be repeating the same mistakes. It happened again here at ISB. I just forgot who I am and why I came here during the last term. the way I approached the assignments and exams were pitiful. Nothing at all compared to the focus and composure I had during the first 2 terms. I just got carried away trying to deal with friendships, inter-study group relationships, inter-section relationships, etc.

I went back to Malaysia thankfully. Back there for a few days, seeing all my 'nakama' was a serious dose of reality. It reminded me of how much my family and friends love me. It reminded me that I am not alone. It reminded me that I did not have to worry about anything other than achieving something at ISB.

So, now i am back. Screwed one sem up a little bit. But, there are 5 more to go. I'll just have to find out what can be done in those. So, now back to the earlier point. My core competencies are what I need to learn about. The LDP sessions have been a great revealing experience. Now, I need to work on them. More importantly figure out what kind of job am I willing to FIGHT for!

Oh yeah, another few terms and the Placement season will come up. I know for sure, I want to be in an International placement. The resume building exercises are starting up. I need to know how to approach all these things to market myself as the best candidate for the position that they're offering even though my credentials aren't as flashy as the next guy.

But to fight for it at that level, I need to be clear of the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats that I would be facing at each job. Could I handle them? Would I remain motivated and interested in the offers? Would they actually give me what I want in terms of salary and job scope?

There is also the current thoughts of moving into the media industry. I have been in one part of the logistics industry. Should I just stay in this industry or bring the knowledge to apply elsewhere? =)

Well, I know that I need to spend a little bit more time. But, in the meantime thank you guys!! All of you in Malaysia that helped me so much to become who I am today, where I am today!

Luv,
-Mathan-