The ebb and flow of creativity

Hi there guys and gals,

I have been thinking about this blogging thing for a bit. I am even now sitting and trying to wonder what do I want to type? I know that I had made a resolution to myself to blog consistently and a little more frequently than what I had been doing in the last few years.

Strangely, I only have the bug to write when I think of something. Something new. Or a new way of looking at something old. Yet after that, it just vanishes. The urge to write that is. It is like I want to show only the best of me to the world. There doesn't seem to be any leeway in the quality and standards that I set for myself.

I had thought that these limiting beliefs were taken away. I had thought that I am now able to do anything my heart desires without thinking too much about it. It is strange how the old habits seem to get reinforced whenever I am back home. The place is safe and so I grow complacent and allow all the old values creep in. Values that are useful I have no complaints, values without use however like this self-censoring is annoying.

I wish I would be able to just type anything and everything that comes to my mind. Other bloggers are doing this always, at least I think so. They also don't seem to run out of good ideas. It's almost as if by the continuity and practice, their writing upgrades to a level where all of their writing seems to be of a higher quality. This could only be my imagination after all since I haven't been religiously following any blogs other than the ones that belong to my friends.

Or maybe again it's my nature of being overly self-critical while not being critical enough of what people around me do. I saw this clearly when the pilot episode of the latest Knight Rider was released before the series started in proper. I had watched it about 4 times repeatedly feeling all hyped up about the coming series, not able to wait for the other episodes to be released. My cousin takes one look at it and bursts my bubble by mentioning how stiff the actors are; how wierd their scripts are, etc. Haha!~ It was all true. I just looked at the plus point of the show. KITT. I never even noticed anything else with a critical eye.

Well, time to get a bit more serious about the world around me. I realise the problems that are happening. I just have to be the guy who takes it further and criticises and confronts. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any resolution to some of the problems that are happening.